Im going home in 2 weeks and I am really feeling empty...
My closet had been packed into a large suitcase and just like my cupboard,my heart is feeling empty..
Too much thoughts about to blow my mind but this left part of my chest is containing nothing.
(Is this feeling called empty?)
It's 6am now, my head feels heavy. Hoping to extend my night, I am busy filling these blank diary pages.
(Why am I feeling even more empty..)
Try to weigh my heart now, it may just felt less than a piece of paper.
perhaps that measurement should be named "empty"
Just like the sound of shower coming above my head, I could feel my blood pumping through this emptiness.
(This vacancy is called empty)
Just like the night sky with no stars, the colours of my face is dull
(my heart contains emptiness)
Please do not ask me to not worry.
There's this blank space in my future and what is that answer to owning a dream(?)
It's not as easy as how Taylor Swift would write a name on it.
Following your heart is never as easy as how society asked you to do it.
Once again, I know after waking up from this dream
This world of reality filled with fakers is going to feel empty
For now as I close my eyes and pray,
I hoped these emptiness would fade.
Just like how they said in every cloud there is a silver lining
I hope it would cut through this darkness and allow me to shine again.
Maybe out there there is an answer that is awaiting to fill me.
Simply as these cup ramens feed me through my hungry nights.
Maybe it does not have to be seen as being empty.
Perhaps the cup has not been filled, yet.
I had just mistakenly judged it as "empty".
However for now, when I see nothing when I open my eyes...
When in this cold night, thin air is the only thing I am breathing in,
I could only tell that this feeling is called empty.
I never made an empty promise of staying strong,
But for now my beating heart had left my body and its feeling strangely empty...
내 마음이 너무 공허해
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Inspired by Winner's Empty.It's really a good song.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEqlF5N8UMs)
I finished watching WinnerTV and Who's next
It's basically a variety show revealing how much these guys went through to achieve their life goal- being a singer.
I was amazed by their hard work, going all nighter, leaving home just to achieve their dreams.
They aged younger than me, I instantly felt ashamed after watching them working so hard.
At the same time I felt envy that they have an exact goal to work on.
The self beaten feeling drowns me so much.
Thats why I decided to write down my mixed feelings.
About leaving Korea, and about not finding a dream to strive on.
I hope you could relate to it.
Good night
6.55am